Sample 3 – Personal Development
Ten Steps to Help You Improve Your Self Confidence
Improving your confidence or self esteem won’t happen overnight but if this is something you really want, then you will find that taking little steps every day will make this seem so much more achievable.
Knowing what the steps to improving your self confidence are, is a start. Applying them is what makes the difference.
The steps listed below will get you thinking about what you might need to work on though courses, books or other resources in order to improve your self confidence:
1. Work on your conversational skills
Have you ever been stuck for words? Improving your conversational skills can really help you feel more comfortable and confident in any social situation which will lead to better confidence overall. Make sure you practice maintaining eye contact and really become a good listener. Ask appropriate questions of the person you are talking to – let them lead the conversation through their answers.
2. Set goals
This is a big one for me. If you set compelling goals for yourself, building confidence somehow seems an easier thing to accomplish (maybe because it gives you something positive to focus on?). Whether you want to be confident enough to become president of a company or simply give a presentation at a seminar, you can then create an action plan for achieving this goal.
3. Get involved
Involving yourself in organisations, projects, committees, or clubs that interest you improves your skills in many areas, which in turn improves your confidence. Think about joining an organisation, club or committee and see how you go!
4. Positive affirmations and visualisations
This actually sits well with goal setting. Visualising yourself as having achieved your goal and really feeling the feelings you would experience if you were to achieve that goal is such a powerful way to attract what you want. I suppose you are “tricking” your mind into believing the goal has been achieved and you subconsciously start to act more like the person who has achieved that goal. Negative self talk is now a thing of the past and only positive things are allowed to come out of your mouth (or your mind!) – if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all from now on!
5. Seek professional help
If you are suffering from depression, then you should definitely seek the advice of a professional counselor or psychiatrist. Alternatively, there are motivational speakers who make their living from helping people make the most of their lives, which often involves helping their listeners build confidence. It’s funny that I’ve noticed that many motivational speakers don’t like to be called “motivational speakers”. I’ve come across “peak performance coaches”, “mentors” and “inspirational speakers” but no motivational speakers! If you are unable to attend a seminar given by a “motivational speaker”, then many offer DVDs and CDs of their motivational performances. Alternatively, if money is tight, search online for the many free resources available to you.
I’ve also found that self-help books can provide you with helpful strategies for building confidence. Life coaches provide one-on-one help to assist customers in reaching their potential (many do this face to face, or they will offer coaching via email or telephone).
Remember, depression and other illnesses can decimate your self-confidence, and simply thinking positive thoughts or attending a motivational talk aren’t going to be enough to help you feel better, so please get the help you need.
6. Take small steps
If your confidence or self esteem is lacking, then you’re not going to be able to get out there and completely change your life in one day. Even attempting to do this may put you right back to where you started. That is why I suggest you take small steps to start with. As your confidence improves, you will find that slightly bigger steps work for you. If it’s career progression you want, ask your boss for more responsibilities at work. Take on one task at a time, building from there as your confidence grows.
7. Fake it until you make it!
Believe it or not, you can gain confidence by acting like a confident person. Nobody needs to know that you’re cringing underneath your confident façade. Eventually you’ll no longer need to pretend as it will become second nature. The success you experience from acting confident and the confident habits you’ve developed will lead to true confidence.
8. Look for confident role models
Look around you to co-workers, friends, family members to find inspiration. Finding confident role models can help you become more confident yourself. This is probably because it gives you the feeling of “If he can do it, then so can I!”. Take note of what they do and how they act. Use your new conversational skills and ask them how they got to where they are, and how their confidence played a role.
9. Try new things
New experiences can give you confidence by helping you grow as a person. Starting a new hobby or taking a class is likely to help you develop lasting skills to help you improve your confidence.
10. Be happy with yourself
Having an essentially positive attitude toward yourself is key to gaining confidence. You must be ok with the person you are, from your personality to your appearance, before you can truly be confident. This doesn’t mean you have to start thinking how perfect you are – we all have imperfections that we would all change if we could – it means you must be ok in your own skin and ok that some things about you are just the way they are for a reason and you’re not going to get hung up about it.
By improving your confidence and self esteem, you are essentially changing your life for the better, so that you can attract some new and amazing experiences into your life. Just try one of these things every day for a week, and see what a difference it makes!